At the age of 25.02
2 months past 25 years old.
This year, it has been the most stable, awesome, wonderful, almost perfect but not.
These few months, I have been flashing through all the years that are gone.
Tears, Smiles, Laughs, Pain, Fear, Excitement, Anxiety and all sorts of feelings that we each and everyone definitely have been through.
I find myself having lots of contradicting feeling and making decisions this year.
& what truly affects me the most, was this question: How bad or good am I as a friend.
I usually don't reject all my friends that asked me out, just to go home. But this year i did it a lot of times. I find myself having lots of comfort zone and all i wanna do was to go home. So many times, devil question(s) came into my mind and got me distracted with pretty bad mood-swing. Questions like how sure are you that your friends are not talking at the back of you? Who actually deep down understand you and support you all along. Will they give up on me? If i give my all to anyone that needs, in return if i need, will they? Yes, of course giving should not ask for return. However, sometimes I'm tired and had lose confidence of being a friend. Wondering if anyone knows why i feel this way and i hope they will give up on asking me out if i rejected way many times. Haha! Because in human nature, If a friend that disappear for quite sometimes or reject. They will stopped asking that person out. However, for me I don't lose hope for anybody, but will they lose hope on me? Or is it because i have used up all my energy at work and all that i wanna do is to get home quickly and chill. So much thoughts going through in my mind. Is it this age problem or am I at another phase in life or what.